Dear Vitaminwater Rep:
I’m a huge fan of your “essential” orange-orange vitaminwater. I just can’t get enough of its refreshing, smooth taste. What I have had enough of is the clever copy* on the label. Don’t get me wrong: I love the idea. And I laughed when I first read it. I’m not sure when that was, though, because it was SO LONG AGO. If I have to read one more time about how morning and mourning are only one letter apart…well, probably nothing will happen. But I’ve decided to help you guys along in your updating process. Below please find my suggestion as to the replacement of said paragraph.
*ORIGINAL COPY – if you ask us, it’s no coincidence that ‘morning’ and ‘mourning’ are only one letter apart. ok sure, there are a few good things about mornings (we’re looking at you, pancakes). otherwise, forget it. not only does a 15 minute snooze pass in what feels like a blink, but let’s be honest, the sound of birds chirping is a bit over-rated. so to help give your morning some nutrition, we added 120% of your daily value of vitamin c per serving plus some other key nutrients we think’ll brighten up your day. but don’t worry, not the rip-open-curtains-with-no-warning kind of brighter.
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love is essential. getting the newest i-whathaveyou is essential. some might even argue that money is essential. well, let me tell you something: when it’s early morning and you’re burrowed under the covers, and you have to go to work/school/grandma’s-party-where-aunt-sophie-is-going-to-ask-you-why-you-aren’t-married-yet, this product is essential. essential to getting you out of bed and through the day with the very essential vitamin c. talk about essential. ps i bet the word essential sounds kinda funny right now. say it. essential. eeesssseeennnnttttiiiaaalllll.