How Certain Fiction Makes Me Feel

Grief
Inside me
Bubbling up
Caught in my throat
Threatening to choke
Me

It’s much, too much pain
To feel
Inside me
To have
Around me
Like a cloak
Or a fog
Or a shroud

~Aliza Scheiner

Blind to Me

When it comes to you
I know who you are
What makes you tick
Your every scar
It’s all right there
Your pros and cons
Like glass, like air
You’re transparent, clear
But when I turn
Inwardly
I’m flying blind
I’m blind to me

~Aliza Scheiner

Drowning

When I’m busy I’m tired
And drowning
In all the work
Exploding
And all I want is
Some time to myself
To be free to be me
And do nothing at all
And then quite suddenly
There I am
Free
Of all the work
Of all the madness
And the quiet
It’s scary
And empty
I feel adrift
Useless
Devoid of purpose
And I wish
I wish
I was drowning
Again

~Aliza Scheiner

I died for Beauty – but was scarce: Extended

I died for Beauty – but was scarce
Adjusted in the Tomb
When One who died for Truth, was lain
In an adjoining Room –

He questioned softly Why I failed?
“For Beauty,” I replied –
“And I – f or Truth – Themself are One –
We Brethren, are,” He said –

And so, as Kinsmen, met a Night –
We talked between the Rooms –
Until the Moss had reached our lips –
And covered up – our names –
                                                                                          ~Emily Dickinson

And in the next world, I looked for him –
The One who died for Truth
But ‘twas not meant to be –
I think, gone forever was the youth –

I was troubled in my restless state –
And would often cry –
For if One who died for Truth was lost
Then where, pray tell, was I?

                                                                                            ~Aliza Scheiner

The Hunt

BUM BUM

Bahbahbah BUM

I can hear the drums beat

BUM BUM

Bahbahbah BUM

As my pulse keeps time

BUM BUM

Bahbahbah BUM

I stalk my prey

BUM BUM

Bahbahbah BUM

Weapon in hand

BUM

I crouch

BUM

Tilt my head

BUM BUM

I raise my hand

BUM BUM

BUM BUM

I strike

BUMMMMMMM

The mosquito falls – Dead

~Aliza Scheiner

Depending on the Day

Depending on the day
And on the hour too
I’m either all confused
Or know exactly what to do

Sometimes I know I’m pretty
Sometimes I think I’m not
Sometimes I’m not sure how I look
But dammit I feel hot

I think myself quite clever
Maybe even wise
But I tend to wonder
If I’m telling myself lies

Often jealous of myself
For successes in the past –
The gulf between seems to be
High and wide and vast

~Aliza Scheiner

Walking Along in my Dream

Walking along in my dream
Wide awake
Living my dream
At twilight, more towards night than day
Walking among the clouds
Because they’ve fallen from the sky
To trap me
With their long, chilly fingers caressing my skin
As tendrils of miniscule droplets roll past the burning street lamps overhead
And headlights from passing cars pierce the gloom, or attempt to

They say to be careful what you wish for
And ain’t that the truth
Ever since I’d seen Aladdin and Jasmine holding fluffs of clouds on their magic carpet ride, I wanted to hold clouds too
Well, I got my chance
And the air was cool and chilled
And I had goosebumps on my arms and legs
And I walked ever so slightly faster
To escape my dream

~Aliza Scheiner